No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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