I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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