her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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