Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
