Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
