Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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