He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
