the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
