in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
