just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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