We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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