okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
