Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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