Pants 0. Shit 1.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
