in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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