i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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