I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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