ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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