ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
