At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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