i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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