My friends, they love my intelligence
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
