You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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