I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
