No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
