im six kinds of drunk right now
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
