So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
