Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
