this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
