it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
