Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
