I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
