Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
