My first STD was from a foam party
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
