My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Randomize
