Sry I called you an 8
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
