I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
