direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
