Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
