Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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