what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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