if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
