well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
