the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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