I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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