Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I can't put those talents on a resume
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
