Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
