Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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