Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
