Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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