idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
