I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
