Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
